Never underestimate the power of the third gender

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I sometimes think that being transgender is my way of attempting to manifest my inner khandro nature overtly, rather than secretly

when I was at the cusp of adolescence, I felt very clearly that 'inside, I am a woman'

I had no explanation for this at that age, and no other words than to say that I was 'trapped' in the 'wrong' body. That was the only socially 'acceptable' narrative for what I seemed to be, so it is the only way that I explained myself to my friends.

Then, I backed away from that realization

only to come back to it early in my adulthood

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As an adult, I had greater means to express myself

and the feeling that 'inside, I am a woman' became startlingly solid

I decided I would cooperate with it, and see where it would take me

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within the religion I practice, there is a particular practice of view in which one views the phenomenal world as the opposite sex -- as the convex-complement to one's entirely concave self-designation of gender

there is also a teaching that those who present outwardly male have a secret, inward female nature

and, those who present outwardly female have a secret male nature

If I could have explained this to that person I was 14 years old, perhaps I wouldn't have been so afraid

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I do not resent or hate people who do not understand gay people, but I am saddened that they feel threatened by my existence.