disast.rs :: now :: notes

Sick today.

: : : :

The moon was a delicate crescent in the west.

February 2nd, 2025

My life is proceeding at the pace of evaporating solvents

: : : :

When I picked up the guitar, I had the idea of learning to play it.

I also had the idea of using it to learn music theory.

Seeing as a music-theory-oriented guitar practice hasn't manifested on its own, I might need to find or come up with a curriculum.

February 6th, 2025

I factory reset all my gear today

I don't need all of that stuff that I accumulated

It feels nice -- and light

: : : :

One of my training partners said today --

"Why are you so down on yourself?"
"You want to be so good at this."

He's not entirely wrong-- and maybe I could lighten up on the mats too.

My teacher suggested that I could let every music-making session be totally fresh.

He has also suggested that I don't have to make everything -- good

I probably won't come back to read these log entries forever -- maybe not ever again, once the month is up

So I also probably don't need to fret endlessly about them being good

: : even so : :

I want to approach things in a disciplined way -- what's up with that?

Maybe there is some energy involved in discipline, and maybe that's interesting to me.

February 7th, 2025

I still have a great deal of exported recordings from 2024, even if I lack the raw recordings and project files

Listening to some in the car today, I thought, "Well, what if I make The Blob 2?"

February 11th, 2025

My weekends go by in a blur of intensive training

It seems I sprained my knee during a spar

These competition-style rolls are dangerous.

: : : :

I was thinking, "I don't really have time for music any more, do I?"

"I can't do this, AND the martial arts, AND the day job"

I decided I couldn't say that until I was truly making the effort to get up early.

I mean 4:30 AM early.

I mean 6 hours before work starts early.

: : so it seems : :

here's one advantage to exploring your limits

When you encounter a hard limit, the decisions are easy.

The decisions are easy, because you know what works, and what doesn't.

You know what doesn't work, because you tried and failed, maybe a lot.

You probably need to try, and fail, a lot.

February 25th, 2025

I stopped writing here, because life started moving pretty fast

SO, I lost the plot a bit.

Maintaining a habit is: feeling inclined to do something, doing it, and feeling good about doing it.

If you want to break a habit, best to not feel good about engaging in it.

: : so? : :

My knee feels better, but I'm taking it easier at training.

I'm probably in for a thrashing at competition, next weekend, since I've had so little time on the mat this month

: : and? : :

Q: How do you pay attention?

A: A sense of danger helps.

Q: How do you wake up?

A: A threat on your life helps.

: : interesting, go on : :

Don't fool yourself.

February 26th, 2025